Love in a Hopeless Place
by JG Edwards
Summary: This Fanfic author has finally accepted the fact that Beth is dead and Daryl needs to find love elsewhere. The story begins when Daryl and Aaron find Jess beaten and broken by the side of the road. They take her home to Alexandria where she and Daryl begin a friendship, that quickly turns into something more. But Jess has a secret from her time on the outside.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One-Found

They found her nearly catatonic huddled under a bridge with her arms wrapped around her knees. She was bloody and bruised from head to toe and appeared to have been out in the elements for quite some time. She was in shorts and had red welts on the backs of her thighs. Her eyes stared ahead blankly and her long, dark brown hair hung around her face in greasy strings. Her bloodied wrists hung over her knees. She clutched a bloody knife in her right hand. Aaron and Daryl approached her cautiously. They called out to her. She remained frozen and gave no response or hint of awareness of their presence. As they neared her broken form, they could tell she had been beaten badly. Both eyes were swollen almost shut and bruises both old and new covered her exposed arms and legs. Her wounds seemed to be at least a day or two old. Daryl raised his voice while approaching her with arms out to his side, palms up, "Hey!" he called. No response. She stared straight ahead seeing nothing. He knelt beside her and gently placed a hand on her knee. He leaned forward trying to look her in the eyes. "Hey," he said quietly now. He didn't want to spook her. He reached over and gently but firmly wrestled the knife from her tight grip. Her hand stayed clenched as if still holding her weapon. He stepped back towards Aaron.

"Whadya think?" he asked squinting against the sun.

"I think it's pretty obvious she's been fucked up by someone. Let's check her for bites and see if we can get her into the truck."

Daryl returned to the girl, and kneeling, he announced his intentions, "I'm just gonna check you over." She let him. Not moving, but letting herself be manipulated like a rag doll. He saw bite marks on her chest and when he opened her blouse he could see her breasts and collarbones were also covered in what appeared to be human bites. No walker would be able to keep biting like that without finally taking flesh with it. These bites were not from a walker. He moved his eyes down to her thighs and could tell she'd been whipped with a switch or a belt.

"Jesus Christ. Someone's done a number on this poor girl," Daryl sighed and with that he picked her up with one arm under her knees and another behind her back. She hung in his arms like a dead body. She was tiny, but her dead weight made Daryl grunt as he adjusted her in his arms and walked back to the truck.

When they got there, he attempted to get her to drink, but she let the water just dribble from her mouth. With encouragement from Daryl however, he finally got her to take a few swallows. Her lips were chapped and cracked and split on one side, dried blood caking down her chin. After her third swallow, her eyes lifted for the briefest of moments to take Daryl in. Her resigned look gave Daryl pause and he shuddered as he swung her legs into the truck and closed the door. She promptly slumped over onto her side. He returned to the cab for the trip back to Alexandria.

As they road along the deserted country road, he spoke quietly to Aaron.

"Some asshole got a hold of her and fuck, I mean look at her! What the fuck?"

"Yea, it ain't walkers we got to worry about now so much as other human beings," Aaron replied.

"Makes me sick." Daryl sighed and slunk down in his seat with his foot on the dash gnawing on his thumb. He did not say another word for the rest of the two-hour drive home, but stared out the window feeling like he really did want to throw up.

xXx

Upon their arrival in Alexandria, Daryl carried the girl to the infirmary and deposited her into the care of the doctor and nurse who served their community, healing the wounded and sick. He left her knowing that it was likely she might never recover to her former self. As he walked back to the home he shared with Rick and Carl, he wondered what she had looked like before the world went to shit, who she was and how she ended up under that bridge. Everyone had a story, some worse than others. Her story was obviously landing on the worse side. He only hoped she would eventually find her way back.

Daryl's mood remained dark and foul for the rest of the week. His family kept a wide girth and knew better than to press him on the details of his last recruiting mission. Even Carol let him be, lest he lash out with some biting remark that he'd only regret later. She'd spare him that. Time is what Daryl needed, and space. But no matter how hard he tried he couldn't get the thoughts of the girl out of his mind. Who was she? Was she going to recover? What had she been through?

Despite his thoughts being consumed with concern for a girl he didn't even know, he made his best attempt to resume his normal life within the walls of Alexandria. He spent most of his days working on a Triumph motorcycle in Aaron's garage. He was rebuilding the bike using scavenged parts. The work kept his mind and body busy. He felt solace while he worked and he appreciated being alone with his own thoughts without having to make banal small talk with the rest of Alexandria's residents.

Aaron and his boyfriend, Eric, respected Daryl's quiet ways and did not push him for conversation. Sometimes, they'd bring him a sandwich or ask him to dinner in an attempt to connect with the recluse. But, Daryl was not an excellent guest at these domestic affairs. There was no doubt, however, that he appreciated the food. His enthusiasm for eating demonstrated by his hand over fist hold on the fork as he ate quickly and efficiently stopping to wipe his mouth on his sleeve or lick something off his fingers. He made quick work of whatever was put in front of him to the quiet amusement of his hosts. Conversation consisted of Aaron or his boyfriend asking a question and Daryl nodding or grunting either an affirmative or negative response. Sometimes a one or two word answer was given but he never asked a question himself or made any attempt to extend the talking at the table. When done, he would stand while pushing his chair out and utter, "Thanks. Tha' was good," and then he'd leave. It never occurred to him that the boys might enjoy his company or wish to hang out with him after dinner. He'd just leave, lighting a cigarette on their porch and smoke while walking home. Aaron and Eric would sometimes stand at the window and have a laugh as they watched him go. They liked Daryl.

On his walk home, Daryl would usually stop by the infirmary and inquire about the girl he and Aaron had brought in. He never presumed to actually visit her. He'd just inquire in his shy way about how she was doing. She was always the same. The nurse on duty would report that although her wounds were healing, she had yet to respond to any questions and basically stayed in her bed staring at the wall most of the time. The nurse would encourage Daryl to enter but he always begged off. The last thing he wanted to do was remind the girl of her time outside. Best just let her get on with it in her own way. In peace.

Six weeks later however, the nurse had something new to report. The girl had gotten up in the night, snuck past the night nurse on duty and got a hold of a pair of scissors from the front office. She had used the scissors to hack off all of her hair, which had hung almost to her waist. The nurse sighed sadly describing how beautiful her hair had been, thick, auburn, brown and wavy. The nurses found her the next morning shorn almost to her scalp, her hair scattered on the bathroom floor staring, yet again, at her favorite wall.

Daryl was oddly disturbed by the news. His heart leapt in his chest at the thought of her self-destruction. He was both puzzled and bothered by her act and could not reconcile as to why. For days he thought about her and why she did it, avoiding the infirmary in a pointed way. A sadness would suddenly creep into him every time his mind, of its own accord, would flick to thoughts of her. He began to make a concerted effort to erase her from his mind. It was just all too disturbing and in a weird way he couldn't understand why he even cared. He had seen the same or worse in the years since the start of this crap. Why did he give a damn about this one girl? He resolved to put her out of his mind.


	2. Chapter Two-A Visit

Chapter Two-A Visit

A month or two had passed since he had last stopped by the infirmary, when to Daryl's immense discomfort, one of the nurses stopped by Aaron's to inquire as to the whereabouts of Daryl. Aaron, respecting Daryl's dislike of unexpected visitors covered for him saying that he was on tower duty. Daryl paused in his work to listen to the voices at the front door.

"What's up, Charlene?" Aaron asked.

"Nothing much. Just looking for Daryl. Is he here?"

"Not at the moment. Tower duty," Aaron lied. "Can I give him a message?"

"Well, remember that girl you two brought in a couple months ago? She's asked to see him."

"Oh? Okay, I'll tell Daryl." Aaron obviously moved to shut the door.

"Wait! Wait. It's just that, well, I think it would be really good for her if he came by. She has said very little so far and has never made a single request. I-I just think if Daryl could make this tiny bit of effort….." she trailed off.

"Got it. I'll tell him."

Seconds later, Aaron stood in the garage relaying the message Daryl was already privy to. When he left, Daryl was stuck with a very uncomfortable feeling in the pit of his stomach. "Fuck," he thought. "Why does shit always get so fucking complicated?" He resigned not to go. That girl needed to get on with her life without him making it worse by him rejecting her in whatever way she was thinking he could help her out. The last thing he needed was some woman leaning on him for moral support and shit. No, he was not going to go.

Except that, when he left Aaron's that night, he inexplicably found his feet heading in the direction of the infirmary. He blamed curiosity and common decency for the decision to visit. Charlene beamed when she saw him and excitedly ushered him to the girl's room.

He stood awkwardly at the entrance to her room as Charlene leaned in saying brightly, "Jess, honey, you have a visitor! It's Daryl! Daryl Dixon."

"Ahh." Daryl thought, "Her name is Jess or maybe Jessica?"

She turned to Daryl and gave him a slight shove toward the entrance while retreating to the front office. "Okay, I'll leave you to it!"

Daryl was mortified. He was so uncomfortable all of a sudden that he almost turned heel and left. Instead, he stood at the entrance with his hands in his pockets looking at the floor wishing he could make a hasty retreat without the girl noticing he was even there. Then he heard her voice.

"Oh. Hey! Hi. Come on in," the girl prompted.

Daryl took a few steps forward and raised his eyes. His first thought was, "Yea, she sure did cut off her hair," and his second was, "But she is still a beauty."

She sat cross-legged on the bed with a book in her hand which she promptly put aside as he entered the room. He was stunned to see that her face had fully healed and there was no residual damage, save for a slight scar at her lip. Her eyes, which were so swollen when he first picked her up, were actually big and brown and bright. He could tell right away that this girl was a survivor. He knew instantly and without a doubt that although she would always walk around with some hideously painful memories, she would no doubt go on with her life, surviving, living, thriving. He was suddenly so relieved. He realized that his main worry had been that this girl would attach herself to him and demand things from him that he could not or would not be able to give. Instead, she sat before him looking like an ordinary girl, perhaps more worldly than most, but strong and capable nonetheless.

She was slight, but curvy. Her skin was olive toned and her eyes and hair were dark. She studied him with a tilt of her head and smiled shyly at what she saw.

"Sit down," she gestured to the chair next to her bed. As he did so, she turned her body towards him adjusting her seat on the bed. "I'm Jess."

"Yea. Got that from the nurse," he responded waving in the direction of where the nurse had retreated. "Daryl."

"Yea, got that from the nurse," she teased with a bright smile.

He cocked an eyebrow at her, "Ha," his only response.

There followed a long silence in which she stared in his direction while his eyes darted about the room in an attempt to look casual.

Mercifully, she began to speak, "Hey. I wanted to say thank you for picking me up out there. I had pretty much given up by the time you had come along. I don't even think I had another day in me."

"S'no problem," he got up to leave.

"Hey! Where you going so fast?" She inquired laughing.

"Uh. Home?"

"No! Stay."

"A'right." He plopped himself heavily into the chair that sat by the door.

Another awkward silence lingered, but she didn't seem the least bit bothered by it.

"Oh! Hey, they're letting me out soon. I get to move in with some girls over on Mulberry."

"S'good."

She studied him intently. He felt a weighty question in the air.

"Daryl?"

"Hmph?"

"Do you like it here? Is it safe?"

"S'aright. S'safe." He replied with a shrug of his shoulders.

"Okay, then. I guess I'll give it a try."

Daryl was stunned by her response. Was she basing whether or not to stay on his opinion of the place? Is this why she asked to see him?

She got up then. She walked purposefully towards him and he literally shrunk back into his chair. She took notice but did not pause in her advance. She stood in front of him looking down.

"I want you to know that you saved me. I had lost hope and was as good as dead until you came along. I will always, always be grateful to you. Thank you." And with that she leaned over and kissed Daryl on the cheek. He almost flinched but recovered in time to mumble, "S'okay." Then he lurched from his chair, turned and headed for the door. Leaving her standing there with a confused but slightly amused look on her face.

His hasty exit confused her, but she resolved not to let it bother her. Daryl Dixon, she thought, you and I are gonna be friends whether you want it or not.

Daryl strode from her room with the sole purpose of getting out and getting out quickly. He was so stunned by her kiss that his cheeks were flushed and the last thing he wanted was for Charlene to strike up some stupid conversation with him on the way out. He bolted for the door and headed directly for home.

"The hell was that?" he thought.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three-I'm Not in Love

Daryl sat on his porch smoking cigarettes. He was looking for a calm that the butts just were not providing this evening. Finally, he gave up and went to bed. As he climbed the stairs he talked himself into believing that his interaction with Jess would be his one and only, and thank God that bit of discomfort was over. He showered and then fell asleep quickly, an unusual occurrence for him. His last thought before drifting off to sleep were Jess' big brown eyes.

Daryl awoke the next morning with his hand in his boxers holding an intense erection. He yanked his hand out feeling stupidly embarrassed. That had not happened to him since before the turn. He pondered why, when he suddenly realized he had been dreaming about Jess. Dreaming about her in a way that any self-respecting man would not. He immediately got up and headed for a cold shower.

"I'm fucked," he thought. "Seriously fucked."

The cold shower dampened Daryl's libido and he was thankful that he could think straight again on the Jess situation. Obviously, he hadn't been having thoughts like that since before the turn because he had been out there surviving from one minute to the next. Of course there was no time for thoughts like that to be entertained. He reasoned, that now he was relatively safe within Alexandria's walls, his mind naturally went in that direction and Jess was just the last woman he had interacted with so, of course, she had been the object of his sexual thoughts this morning. No worries. Yep, that had to be it. On with the day.

Daryl had a run this morning and having settled his mind with that thought, he packed up to get ready to go.

xXx

Weeks passed with Daryl alternately working on the bike in Aaron's garage and going on recruiting runs. The runs would last up to a week or two depending on the range and in this way the months passed from winter into summer. Daryl would only occasionally catch a glimpse of Jess who appeared to be assimilating well into her new community. He was puzzled by the delight he felt whenever he saw her smiling or laughing with a group of people but he never made an effort to approach her despite the glances she sent his way.

One time, while having a heated conversation with Carol about an issue with one of Alexandria's children, he felt himself being watched. Out of the corner of his eye he could make out Jess. She stood across the street from where he was, staring in his direction. Her gaze made it difficult to concentrate on what Carol was saying. This fact bothered him. When Carol suddenly turned heel and left him to return to her own place, Daryl turned to see that Jess had gone. He was left feeling uneasy and a little disappointed. This, of course, bothered him too.

Daryl knew that he watched her too and he often wondered what it meant that each of them were secretly stealing glances at each other. He still sometimes dreamed of her. Dreamed of her mouth on his. Dreamed of her pressing her body against his. Dreamed of doing things that made him hard and left him wanting. He resisted satisfying himself in anyway feeling guilty over having the thoughts in the first place. After what she must have been through, he knew that his thoughts were wildly inappropriate and most definitely unwanted by her.

He resigned himself to the want of her deciding that, for some reason, he just couldn't help it.

Almost 6 months after bringing Jess to Alexandria, Daryl was working in Aaron's garage one morning, when to his utter astonishment, Jess came strolling in smiling brightly.

"Hey Daryl!"

He hung his head inspecting some tool or another to hide his surprise and then lifted his head in regards. His hair hung across his face.

"Was' up?" He asked, like she came by every day.

"Nothing. Day off. So thought I would come by and say hi." He could tell she was nervous by the way she was talking. All bright and bubbly and hopeful.

He looked her over. She had filled out a bit and the extra weight looked good on her, filling her out in all the right places. Her hair had grown and was now almost shoulder length. He could tell it would look nice long. She wore jean shorts and calf length motorcycle boots. He studied her t-shirt and was amused to see that she wore a Metallica baseball shirt.

"What you wearin'?" he asked pointing to her t-shirt, wrench in hand.

"Oh this? Metallica." She shrugged and smiled. His heart skipped a little at that. She put her hands in her back pockets and rocked on the heels of her boots.

"How old are you anyway? Ain't Metallica before yer time?" He asked. She looked to be all of 19 to his 35 years.

"25 and no, not before my time. My dad and I used to listen to them. Why? You like?" Yea, he liked. A lot. So, not a teenager then. Daryl felt better about some of the thoughts that had been clanging around in his head about this girl.

"My dad was a biker. Mind if I take a look?" she gestured towards his partially rebuilt bike.

"A Triumph? Impressive. I see you're using a lot of different parts from different bikes. Cool. It's unique. My dad was mostly into Harleys, but he had an Indian too. And a Triumph, I think once, but he busted it up."

Daryl raised an eyebrow. So, she knew bikes. Huh! He glanced at her boots.

"Can you ride?' he asked.

"Hell yea! Dad taught me when I was thirteen!" She paused. She had guessed a little about Daryl's past and had gathered from things that she heard that her dad and Daryl may have run in the same circles both being from Georgia. If not, they probably most definitely knew of each other. "You may have heard of my dad. Jesse Hardwick?"

Daryl was stunned. Jesse Hard-fucking-wick? The guy was notorious for being one hardass, murdering, drug dealing, gun running, motorcycle riding redneck. Merle had had a shitload of trouble with that guy. He was known amongst a certain crowd throughout Georgia for being one violent motherfucking asshole. You did not cross Jesse Hardwick if you wanted to remain walking, or speaking coherently, for that matter. Daryl's dumbass brother, Merle, came within inches of his life with just a brief encounter with the guy. Daryl could not reconcile this tiny, brown haired beauty with that violent, murdering prick of a guy. Her dad?

"Uh….yea. I heard of 'im." Daryl responded trying to hide his shock.

"I figured. A certain circle of people in Georgia have." She shrugged her shoulders in relief regarding him thoughtfully . She got that piece of information out without him running for the hills. He cocked his eyebrow in her direction.

"Dead long before the change though. Mom too. How about you?" Yea, he had heard. He remembered being relieved to hear of Jesse's demise. Relieved for Merle's sake.

"How about me what?"

"Got any family still around?

"Nah. No blood. But I do got family. Rick, Michonne, Carol….."

"Yea. Rumor is, you guys are pretty tight. Must be nice," she added wistfully. He looked her way wondering if she was being sarcastic, but by her demeanor he could tell she really meant that it must be nice to have family. He felt suddenly more fortunate than most.

Another pause followed that dragged until she walked over to the bike and crouched down to look more closely at the engine. She reached in to poke at something and he heard her utter, "Huh." He was getting irritated. He did not particularly appreciate her touching his bike. He was about to make a veiled suggestion about him being busy to cue her to leave when she jumped up, smiled brightly and turned to go.

"Well, now I know where to find ya! I'll be seeing you more often!"

And with that she exited the garage.

He watched her go. Her long tan legs and bottom peaking out from under her shorts making his dick twitch.

"Shit. Shit. Shit." He thought, "Now, what the hell am I gonna do?"

That night Daryl dreamed of Jess again.

 _Jess is standing with the sunlight behind her. She is wearing her motorcycle boots, jean shorts and a black tank top. She raises her arms above her head putting her hands against the molding at the top of the porch and leans forward smiling at him. Her tank top rises up and he can see her flat belly. Her breasts strain against her top and he can see her nipples pushing against the fabric. Her shorts dip down and he imagines slipping his hand into the space there. He reaches out to her, beckoning her with a twitch of his fingers. She laughs and reaches for his hand. He pulls her to him and she lands in his lap. He puts his hand on the back of her neck and pulls her to him. Her lips are so soft and sweet. She willingly returns his kisses and slides her tongue into his mouth. She sighs sweetly and pulls back to whisper his name. She stands and readjusts so that she is now straddling him. He groans as she lowers herself onto his hardness. She hums in appreciation and begins to slowly grind herself against him. His hands are on her ass and he is guiding her. His tongue is in her mouth and he can feel her heat and wetness building against him. He feels himself slowly building to his climax. He places a hand on her belly and lowers his hand to the button on her shorts and…._

Daryl startled awake with his hand in his boxers and his breath quickening as he moved his hand down his length. Images of Jess still swam around in his head as he pumped himself, hard. The third time he does it, his eyes roll back as he comes into his blankets. He finished with a groan as he whispers her name. He breathed hard and fast. He raised an arm to cover his eyes. He has not felt this spent and satisfied in years. He laughed to himself as he places both hands over his face and drags them down to lay upon his chest. "God damn," he thought. "What is this girl doing to me?"


	4. Chapter 4

After about two months of their regular routine, Daryl got the courage to ask Jess to his place for the evening.

"Was wonderin' if you'd like to come over tonight?"

Jess stopped in her tracks. "Daryl Dixon! Are you asking me over to your place? At night? Is this a date or something?"

Ugh. Why'd she have to put it that way?

"Yea. I guess. I guess I am. Yea. You wanna?"

"Of course I wanna!"

"Okay then. See ya later."

"Uh, Daryl? Ya gotta time you want me to come over? Also, where do you live?"

If at all possible, he felt even more stupid and uncomfortable.

"Uh. I'll pick you up. Seven?"

"Yea. Okay." She turned and left. He was already looking forward to it.

Daryl was prompt in that he stood outside the house that she shared with three other girls at seven on the dot. But it wasn't until almost seven thirty that Jess finally looked out the window to see him standing there, that they actually started walking away towards his place. He reached for her hand as they walked and she companionably grasped his while rewarding him with a shy smile.

When they got to what Daryl always thought of as his new McMansion, Daryl released her hand to usher her inside. As they entered, Carl and Rick were busy finishing up the dinner dishes. Daryl introduced her and shortly thereafter, the father and son made a hasty retreat to their perspective bedrooms, Judith having already been put down for the evening. That left Daryl and Jess the entire first floor to themselves.

"Can I get ya somethin' ta drink?" he asked.

"Hmmmm. Like what?"

"Well, we have wine, whiskey," and opening the fridge, "A beer."

"What kinda whiskey?"

"Jack Daniels," surprised she was asking.

"The best kind. Jack please. Straight."

"Well, that's lucky," he said shaking his head. "Because I don' think I can scare up any ice cubes, or mixer, for tha' matter."

He pulled the full bottle from the shelf and began in vain to search for a couple of glasses. She could tell right away that he had no idea around his own kitchen. She got up from the stool she was sitting on and walked around the granite countertop to help him out.

"I think, my friend, that the glasses would most probably be in this cabinet here."

"Ta. Da!" she announced with a flourish taking down two crystal glasses from the shelf.

"How'd ya know?" he asked laughing.

"We have the same model. Same kitchen layout. When I arrived our glasses were here, so I figured your's would be too!"

He chuckled as he screwed the label off the Jack taking the lid with it.

"Jack. Neat," he said as he poured. He picked up the two glasses handing one to her. They clicked their glasses together and drank down the first shot. He was impressed and looked to her with a raised eyebrow. She winked and held out her glass.

"I take that you've done this before." He asked. This girl amused him and his smile, though faint, was apparent to Jess. It made her feel unreasonably happy to see it.

"Done what?"

"Gotten lit."

"So that is our plan huh? To get lit? Yea, I've done this before. More than you'd care to know, I'm sure."

He raised an eyebrow at that. Who was this girl? Woman, he amended.

He poured another. And down it went. He was already feeling it having not indulged in months. He wondered how she was faring considering her size.

"Porch?" he gestured with the bottle. She nodded. They left their glasses on the counter and headed outside, taking the bottle with them.

They sat down on the porch across from each other, each with their back to a portion of the railing silently passing the bottle between them. When Daryl lit up a smoke, she reached over and took it from him. He smirked and lit another. They smoked and drank in silence for a while when she began to quietly tell her story, from before.

"I could tell you knew who my daddy was when I told you his name," she started. "More importantly, I could tell you knew what kind of man he was. Powerful and violent, and a real sonofabitch." She looked at Daryl who nodded his head in silent agreement.

She paused to take a drink from the bottle Daryl passed her and to light another cigarette. "He was so fucking smart, but all he used it for was to hurt people, or control them, or to make money. He spent his lifetime making money in any way he could, not a scruple spared in the decisions he made. If you crossed him, you were pretty much as good as dead. My whole life was drugs, guns, wild parties and cops showing up at the door."

At this point, Jess paused and studied Daryl. "Did you know these things about my father?"

He nodded the affirmative. "My brother Merle. A dumbass redneck if ya ever met one, almost got his ass shot dead when he came across yer father in a bar. He smart assed him over a drug deal gone bad and yer dad was pretty much two inches from ordering him dead on the spot. I was only there because Merle asked me to back him up. I knew we were in over our heads the minute we got there, but Merle was too high to get it, until it was too late. They had a gun to his head and I thought for sure I was gonna watch him get shot on the spot. Luckily, your dad's girlfriend walked in and I guess he didn't feel much like lettin' her witness no murder. Merle and I beat it out of town after that and never looked back."

"Yea. Sounds like your brother was pretty damn lucky. Not many have lived to tell the tale. If you pissed off Jesse Hardwick, you could pretty much count yourself dead or maimed." She huffed as she said this last. A silence followed. The bottle was passed back and forth and Daryl got the feeling the booze was loosening her tongue.

"My daddy met my mom when he was forty five. The story goes that he was in love with her pretty deep. Or, maybe, just infatuated. He doted on her and they lived together, which for Jesse Hardwick was a thing that he had never done. Of course, my mother had a serious taste for drugs, which he could supply, no problem, and they lived happily for two solid years before she got knocked up with me. Did I tell you she was twenty one at the time?"

"Nah," he drank from the bottle and passed it back to her. She drank, took a breath and continued.

"She was twenty one when she got pregnant with me. She must have been having the time of her life, drinking, and drugging, and fucking away, when Bamm! A baby. Needless to say, she did not want it, me. But, to her surprise, my daddy did and he forbade her from getting rid of me. He pretty much kept her under lock and key for ten months to make sure she stayed away from drugs and alcohol, smoking, whatever, until she had me."

Jess drank from the bottle and froze for a few seconds while looking up toward the dark night sky. She was thinking how stupid her life sounded especially after all that had gone down in the world. Her life before seemed so meaningless compared to how things were now. She snapped out of her thoughts and continued talking.

"Then, he forced her to raise me. He set her up in a house with a white picket fence on the good side of town and made sure that the people he paid to watch her did their jobs. She would fall off the wagon once in awhile and he'd get her back on track and things would be fine again. Trouble was, she was just doing a job. She never loved me. Never gave me the slightest bit of affection. She fed and clothed me and got me to school, but she never touched me or talked to me or cared for me in any way a mother should. No, that was my daddy that did that."

At this, she looked over at Daryl, willing him to understand why she could love such a monster as was her father. He handed her the bottle and she drank down a long swig and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.

"Can I have another cigarette?" He handed one over wordlessly. She was getting a bit slurry.

"My daddy loved me," she continued sighing. "He was the only person in my life who gave me confidence and a sense of family. He was there every Sunday to pick me up and take me away from my depressed, angry mother. He never again slept with her after I was born. It was like he was just done once she had me." With this she waved her cigarette in the air for emphasis. "She was bitter and angry and he wanted nothing to do with her. But he knew with the way his life was, he could not have me living with him, so he returned me to her every Sunday night."

"Sounds rough," Daryl put in.

"Yea, but I have a feeling you've had rougher."

At this, Daryl just nodded.

Jess continued, "Anyway, this shit went on until I was near enough to eighteen that I might as well have been living on my own. My dad got shot in the gut two days before my birthday. He died six days later. Live by the sword. Eh?"

Daryl huffed in response. Jess continued. Her words slurring with the booze she'd been steadily downing since she began.

"Without my dad around to keep her ass in gear, my mom went back to her addict ways and was dead two years later. Me, though? I was just beginning to get a taste. I hooked up with some biker dirtbag who was more than happy to shack up. Didn't love the guy or even care for him much, but since my Daddy had set up an account for me I was pretty much set up to ruin myself before my twenty second birthday. I got into heroin pretty bad."

She looked to Daryl to gauge his reaction. Daryl was familiar with heavy drug use, thanks to his brother, but he'd never indulged himself. He understood however what it meant that she was using something like heroin. He understood that it meant she had been going down a bad road with nothing good to be found at the end of it.

"Then the dead started walking and I got sober real fucking quick. I did well until losing my group and ending up with…."

Daryl interrupted her, "Why'd you cut yer hair?"

She looked at him long and hard then. She tilted her head away and he thought he saw the beginning of tears in her eyes.

"Well, that, Daryl Dixon, is not a story I am ready to tell and, to be honest, it might not be a story you are ever ready to hear."

He looked at her straight in the eye and gave her a nod. It pained him to think about what she may of gone through. If the bites and the state of her face were any clue, she might be right. He may never want to hear the details. He stood then and reached down a hand to her. He lifted her up and laced his fingers into hers, opened the door and sat her next to him on the couch.

He cupped her head next to his. Held her close and whispered, ''s'kay Jess".

She leaned in and tucked her head under his chin. She placed her legs over his lap and wrapped her arm around his middle.

He asked, "So yer name is Jesse?"

She chuckled, "Yea, my arrogant sonofabitch dad named me after him. My name is Jesse."

"Jesse," he sighed "Yea, Jesse the bad ass."

"Yea," she laughed, "I'm one bad ass."

"I don't doubt it," he laughed, rubbing her arm.

She huffed and snuggled in to Daryl's shoulder and promptly fell deeply asleep.


	5. Chapter 5-Aiden

Chapter Five-Aiden

Daryl considered Jess to be strong and infallible. He had yet to learn that the pain of her past still haunted her. She never let on that she still had gut wrenching nightmares that left her sweaty and panicked and exhausted. Or that there were mornings when she stayed crouched in the corner of her bedroom, hands wrapped around the top of her head, silently convincing herself that she could face the day. Most often, when she was like this, it was thoughts of Daryl that brought her around. Daryl would never want her like that. He wanted strong, confident, secure Jess. He would not be interested in Jess falling apart. She'd be embarrassed if he ever found her losing it. So, she'd stand, get herself together, put on a happy face and start her day.

Almost every morning, Jess had to steal herself for the day. Talking to herself in her own head trying to convince herself that things were okay, safe, good. Every day, she began her day with a mental note as to how she would somehow hook up with Daryl. Once she figured that out, she could start her day with confidence. Then, she'd go about the rest of her day with a voice in her own head urging herself towards happiness.

So often though, memories would barge in. Memories that left her feeling weak, humiliated, abused. She could not reconcile what happened to her or why. She felt anger, no rage, whenever she thought about her time right before Alexandria. The rage she felt scared her and she fought to keep it hidden from others. She knew that if people in Alexandria caught a glimpse of her hidden raging, vengeful thoughts, they'd ban her. They'd call her a danger and threat. She knew she could never go back and survive out there. It would be her end. Instead, she held on to the belief that Daryl would be her salvation. Daryl who she knew had his own violent past would drag her throughout the rest of her days in peace and maybe eventually happiness. Daryl would save her. She just had to make sure he never, never became privy to what was raging inside of her.

Her plan was going well. Daryl became more and more a part of her daily existence. His presence calmed and strengthened her. His quiet acceptance of her company gave her peace. It made her feel safe and gave her the confidence that a future in Alexandria could be happy and productive. When he touched her, held her, she was content and relaxed. All of the bad thoughts left her.

Yes, Jess was fine. She was on her way to happiness and peace. Until, Aiden entered her life. Aiden who could not keep his hands to himself. Aiden who didn't take no for an answer. Aiden who felt so fucking entitled, he could not accept the fact that Jess wanted no part of what he had to offer. He mistook her politeness for coyness and began to pursue her in a way that made Jess feel increasingly uncomfortable, insecure, frightened.

When Jess snuck into the community's under protected stash of guns and ammo, she convinced herself she was only doing it to protect herself from the unlikely event of a future walker attack. She knew the people of Alexandria were soft. She knew that many had no understanding of what life was like on the outside. They didn't understand that arming yourself was essential to survival. With these thoughts Jess began to carry a loaded gun tucked into the back of her pants.

Aiden continued to pursue her and once even caught her off guard in the laundry room pinning her against a wall and leaning in to kiss her while she shook her head and pushed with her arms to get him off. His hands roughly grabbed her breasts and ass. If it not for the voices of someone else approaching, who knows what he would have gotten away with. She was left feeling weak and used and pathetic. But most of all frightened.

After that, Jess was on always on guard. Always watching for Aiden. Never feeling quite safe unless in the presence of Daryl. She had already decided that she was going to make Aiden stop bothering her. She was not going to be weak anymore. She was Jesse Hardwick's daughter after all and now she had a fucking gun. She'd stop that prick Aiden on her own. She was done being a victim.


	6. Chapter 6

**I hope you are enjoying this story. I sure loved writing it. Smut ensues! XOXO Reviews appreciated!**

Daryl had been gone a week and Jess had spent her work day hoping he'd be home by this afternoon. She'd heard rumors that he and Aaron had returned the night before. As Jess exited the commissary she realized that the weather had taken a sharp turn toward the wet and wild. She stood in the foyer of the building watching the skies unleash in a torrential rain. She watched as the trees swayed violently and the rain slashed down sideways. It was a bit thrilling watching nature unleash itself like this. She put her hand out to feel the thundering rain and brought it back in with hardly a chill, it was still so warm. She debated waiting it out, but couldn't reconcile that with her desire t see Daryl. She decided she'd make a break for it. She'd get soaked for sure but she felt reckless and excited to see him after so long.

So she braved the storm and headed out in a run towards Aaron's street. She'd assumed that is where Daryl would most likely be. By the time she'd reached the garage she was soaking wet and laughing. As she entered the garage, Daryl, who had been kneeling down examining something on his bike, stood up, rag in hand and stared in her direction. She stood at the entrance to the garage giggling and wringing out her wet tank top.

"Kinda wet today!" She laughed and looked in his direction. Her brown eyes smiled at him under her wet strands of hair.

He just stared wiping down the wrench he had in his hand. He'd never seen such a beautiful sight as Jess standing there with wet hair, jean shorts, and a tank top clinging to her chest. He could see everything and in that moment his mouth went dry and he froze. He stood staring, absent-mindedly dragging the rag over and over the wrench while admiring the fact that Jess stood before him with every inch of her skin covered in glistening droplets of water. She returned his scrutiny with a smile and a slight nod.

Then she rushed forward talking animatedly about the storm and something about missing him and then jumped up on the workbench opposite him. She laughed and dragged her hand through the wet strands of her hair and then scooted back and crossed her legs. Daryl leaned back on the work bench opposite her dropping the wrench behind him. He placed both hands behind him on its surface as he leaned against the bench and just watched Jess as she continued to gush about the weather, her day and something that happened at the commissary that she thought was intensely funny.

Daryl was listening and nodding but not really hearing what Jesse was saying. He was thinking that he'd missed her. A lot. He could not concentrate on her words because he was so taken aback by her wet body. She sat across from him and her long, slim legs were a complete and utter distraction. His eyes traveled up and he took in her happy, smiling face and something in him just made his body move forward toward her. As he did, Jess became suddenly quiet.

Daryl walked the few steps toward her, reached out and grabbed a strand of Jess' wet hair. He held it between his fingers.

"So soft," he said quietly smiling at her, "I hope you grow it long again."

She froze then. Then flicked her eyes towards his sucking in a quiet breath.

He leaned in then and put his face close to her cheek inhaling her scent. Jess pulled back slightly and turned her head towards his.

"You smell so good," he sighed, "sweet and like, rain."

He placed his hand on her shoulder and traced his fingers down her arm all the way to her hand that rested on her thigh. His fingers continued to trace down from her hand to her thigh to her calf and back again. He leaned down again and his mouth touched her shoulder where he placed a soft kiss. She felt his tongue lick her as if tasting her and she gasped a little and pulled back.

"You're skin is so soft."

He leaned back, looked into her eyes and then bent forward to softly touch his lips to hers. He pulled back looking at her, a slight smile on his lips. She returned his smile and looked into his eyes as he leaned in again. Their kiss was soft and chaste at first, but she could feel Daryl's breath quickening and his heart beating at his pulse point where she had softly placed her hand.

Daryl licked her bottom lip gently and Jess opened her mouth to him. As his tongue entered her mouth, she felt him leaning even closer to her. Her hands were locked on the workbench on which she sat. Her body tensed with the thrill of his mouth on hers.

His right hand crossed over her body to her crossed knee. He slowly dragged her thigh toward him so that he could move between her legs. His hands on her thighs slowly rubbing back and forth made Jess begin to pant. His breathing quickly matched hers and their kisses became more and more heated. His hand moved slowly up her bare thighs until they came to rest inside of her shorts. He could feel her silk panties and he began to drag his thumbs underneath her shorts towards the warmth and wetness he was feeling there. She moaned his name.

Daryl was beginning to feel a loss of control. He placed his hands under her bottom so he could bring her closer to him. He pushed his hips into her and she could feel his hardness against her. The feeling of her heat against him was making him wild. He pushed harder against her and she pushed back wanting to feel his arousal for her. His hands gripped her hips so hard she knew she would bruise, but neither could resist the exquisite feel of the other against them. He thrust against her again and lowered his mouth to her collarbone where he began to suck and lick. He growled her name, when a sudden and unexpected click of the garage door signaled the entrance of someone coming in from the house.

Daryl stilled almost immediately and when he heard Aaron's startled, "Oh my God, so sorry!" He removed his hands and body from Jess as if he'd been burned. The door closed just as suddenly, but by then Daryl had his back to Jess. She watched as he reached down to adjust himself in his pants.

Jess was left hanging on the edge of the workbench barely hanging on. His departure so sudden she hadn't the time to save herself from almost tipping forward onto the floor. At the last minute before she pitched forward, she snapped her legs shut and scooted back onto the safety of the workbench. She looked toward Daryl. His back was turned, head bent.

"Jesus, Jess, I'm sorry," Daryl choked.

"Wha'? Nothing to be sorry about. S'okay, c'mere."

"Nah, sorry." He dragged his hand down in front of his face. "This was me bein'…sorry."

With that he marched from the garage and out into to the rain without a word or a look back in Jess' direction. She stared as he left, confusion raging through her. Humiliation threatened to take her over. She hopped from the bench and followed to the edge of the garage door looking out in the direction he had gone wondering where he went and why he felt such a need to bolt like he did. She stood there, hands on hips, staring into the darkness contemplating the frustration that was Daryl Dixon when she heard the garage door to the house open and shut. Aaron came up alongside of her placing a hand on her shoulder.

"Sorry Jess. I just didn't have any idea. I didn't even know you were here."

"What? NO, " Jess turned towards him, "it's your garage for Christ's sake. Not your fault. I'm just glad you didn't wait an extra ten minutes or you might have really gotten an eyeful." She chuckled trying to make light of things.

She continued with a question in her voice, "He just took off? In the rain! He just bolted," she looked over to Aaron waving her hand toward the darkness of the street. "What is that about?" She wondered raising an eyebrow in his direction.

"Not your fault. That's just Daryl. Don't let it worry you." He consoled, "One time Eric asked him about his love life and we didn't see him again for four days."

"Huh," she responded a bit perplexed.

"Don't worry. Eric and I are convinced he is in love and just doesn't know it yet."

"What? Really?"

"Yea, girl, can't you tell?" he laughed and pulled her in for a hug.

No, she thought, she really couldn't tell. But being loved by Daryl Dixon could possibly be the one thing that could make her happy again. But damn that man was confusing.

"Come in for dinner," Aaron offered, "No use trying to make it home in the rain."

"Thanks," she said as she followed him inside.

xXx

Eric poured Jess some more wine as they sat sharing spaghetti and stories from before. Jess felt relaxed and happy and was thoroughly enjoying the warmth of her new found friends when a rough knock was heard right before the front door was pushed open. Before she knew it, Daryl was standing awkwardly at the entrance to Aaron and Eric's home.

"Hey guys. I…." Daryl froze in his tracks when he saw Jess. He had obviously not expected her to be sitting at his friend's table.

His hand reached behind him as he stood awkwardly rubbing his neck. He wondered briefly if he could pull off just turning around and leaving as if he'd never been there, but brushed that thought away as Jess' eyes locked on his.

"Come in Daryl. Sit down. Eat," Aaron encouraged.

"I just came to talk over our trip coming up. I can come back later." Daryl turned to leave and actually had his hand on the doorknob when Jess called out to him.

"No, Daryl," Jess spoke up, "Come in. Sit down." She patted the seat of the chair next to her and locked her eyes on his challenging him to say no.

Jess' words made his feet move toward the table. He sat down heavily as Eric made a plate and set it before him. Daryl realized how hungry he was as soon as the plate was put before him and began to eat in earnest as the rest of the table watched in silent amusement. He was nothing if not efficient in his eating. The napkin stayed put by his plate, as apparently, Daryl preferred to use his sleeve to wipe his mouth between giant bites of food. After a few minutes, he looked up catching their gazes and asked, "What?"

"Nothing!" They replied in unison as they returned to eating.

Conversation with Daryl commenced after the food was eaten and the plates were removed from the table. Aaron and he discussed a few details of the recruiting run which would occur in a few days. They would be going out much farther than they had on any other run. As they poured over a few maps, Jess left the table to help Eric clean up in the kitchen.

"You ever get worried?" Jess asked.

Eric looked in her direction, shrugged and replied, "Every damn time!" He followed with a little laugh. "It's important work though. I can't be the one to keep him here. There are people out there who need this." He waved his hand in obvious reference to Alexandria.

"You're right. I just feel uneasy when he's gone. Less safe somehow. I feel selfish not wanting him to go. Especially since, he and Aaron were the ones that found me."

"Don't fret over it. They'll be back before you know it." Eric looked over his shoulder at the two men discussing plans at the table. He lowered his voice and leaned toward Jess, "You know, Aaron swears Daryl is an excellent judge of character. He says Daryl has a very rare and valuable ability to tell the good people from the bad."

This piece of information did nothing to calm Jess. Instead she became incredibly worried. Could Daryl see through her? Did he know she was no good and that her thoughts often strayed toward violence and depression? Jess sensed that if Daryl or the others knew about what she'd been planning behind everyone's back, they would no longer want to be her friend and that she'd once again be alone in the world. If they knew, they'd make her leave Alexandria and survive out there on her own again. That, she knew, would be the death of her.


End file.
